Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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