Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Randomize