Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
