..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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