I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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