Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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