Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
