I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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