i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Randomize
