wanna go halves on a baby?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
