hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
