I want to stick my p in your. b.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
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