k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
