he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
