I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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