The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
it was like eating out sand paper
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
