Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
