did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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