I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
