Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
