you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
