Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
