when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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