she looked like the before picture.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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