I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
