Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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