Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
