College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
