the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
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