i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
