Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
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