At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
