I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
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Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
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I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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