Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
