Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
