It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
