WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Randomize
