I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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