How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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