the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize