Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
