I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
