My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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