Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
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I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
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All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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