You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Randomize
