I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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