Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
