You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
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