Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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