Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
