Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
