last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
