it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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