Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Randomize
