so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Randomize
