I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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