I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
