Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Randomize
