Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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