I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize