Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
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When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
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