Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
