after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Even my vagina gasped.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
