Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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