I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
