Where are you?
In a non slutty way
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
