Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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