Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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