i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
