One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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