dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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